Got this one online and thought it was a good one (and before you think it you smutty gits it aint from Germany or anything wierd like that!)
Dear Susan
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now and are considering marriage in the future. Sounds good, but there's a problem: all my life I've been passionate about nurturing and owning dogs. He hates pets and can't stand the idea that I have any sympathy for a 'lower being'. I don't want him to suddenly have a change of heart and 'allow' me to have a dog if we marry and live together in the future. What I would like is for us to find a way to deal with this conflict of interest before it destroys our relationship. Is there anything you can suggest to help?
Elizabeth
Answer
Dear Elizabeth
I can sympathise with you as I'm potty about cats and if my husband hated them it would be a worry. But more than that, I sympathise with your deeper concerns. It sounds as if there is an issue, not only about your love of animals, but also about your boyfriend's attitude to your love of animals. He doesn't only not share your passion, he appears to feel deeply threatened by it. And in turn, you are feeling threatened by the prospect of having to negotiate it as part of married life.
Where passions are concerned, to sustain a long-term relationship you have to understand and accommodate them. And if you're thinking of being together 'in the near or distant future' then you need to start practising those skills.
Start talking. Explain to your boyfriend why you are so keen on dogs, what in your past got you involved in them, how they make you happy, how they fulfil you. Get him to do the same for an equivalent passion of his that you aren't that keen on. Then challenge these passions - get him to tell you how he would feel if you did want a dog. Try to understand, try to empathise, try to see things from each other's point of view. And when you can do this, take it further, perhaps doing a trial run of living together with a dog, and seeing what happens then.
You have to sort this before you get engaged. It may be an irreconcilable issue. You also have to address this as you'll face even bigger issues if you marry - such as children, when to have them and how many to have. You need to have a good bank of negotiating skills in your pockets before you make your big commitment.
Hugs
Susan
MARTY'S ANWSER:
So you like dogs then? So do I. Your boyfriend doesn't , this is going to be a major problem. Since , i am speaking from my point of view, your boyfriend sounds like the sort of cunt I would like to see get mauled by a mastiff. What is this dung about "lower beings" all about? So he reckons then that you shouldn't like anything that isnt human? or is there categories to them also? Maybe he thinks that anything that isn't almost a carbon copy of him is worthless. I can almost see him now..I bet he was a student...of....let me think.....law???....nope...got it....PHILOSOPHY! I'm right I bet you I am. The type of person who can tell you the reason a chair became a chair but couldnt nail two fucking bits of wood together. You like dogs, probably have one maybe more, did he not notice it when it was sniffing his crotch? If he knew that when he started going out with you then fuck him. If he loves you then he will understand the need for a dog, dont worry so long as it isn't one of those yappy little hair balls he will get a kick out of it. Get one of those Paris Hilton things and I would be tempted to boot it myself.
As for Sue's advice. Well it's a load of old pish. "Explain to your boyfriend...fulfill you... get him to do the same about a passion of his..." I can tell you now how that is going to go.
" I love dogs let me explain why....."
" Descartes said that all dogs were basically functioning machines with no reasoning and that...........therefore the sum of his arguement lies................ i dont really want a dog"
" I will give you some doggy if you let me have a doggy?"
" no bother!"
Most men are like dogs anyway. offer them some sex or food and they will put up with one hell of a lot. lifting dog crap? for a blow job, wheres the plastic bag? Its all about give and take really. You want him to bond with the dog, get him to walk it suggest the offlicense, or somewhere really fit birds go. I can assure you he will go.
As for "a good bank of negotiating skills". whatever happened to sulking or huffing as I call it? Have a row, huff a bit, talk, fall out, huff, speak , sex, talk, conclusion. That is how things get resolved in relationships, and good it is too. Doesn't work anywhere else, board room for example. Cant see Alan Sugar huffing when doing a deal with Branson or whoever ( or the beast with two backs for that matter) but it is tried and tested in the home.
