So here comes one from The sun and it's dear Deidre pages. An interesting problem I think that you will agree.
Dear Deirdre,
A drunken night of passion went spectacularly wrong when my girlfried went crashing from on top of me on to the bedroom floor.

I'm 21 and she's 19. after a night out drinking she started to come on to me. In the state she was in she was not an attractive proposition but rather than hurt her feelings I went along with it.

She got on top and lasted about 15 seconds before toppling off. Now she absolutely refuses to make love except in the missionary position.

I've tried to make light of it by joking that we should use a harness. She wasn't amused. I dont know what to do.

Deidre says:
Her defences are up because of her embarrassement.

Go along with what she wants for now. Buy her flowers and apologise for laughing . I'm sure you've made the odd drunken gaffe.
Promise there will be no more jokes- even light hearted ones will make her cringe.

MARTY SAYS:

Oh for christs sake! So the girl was pissed and fell, landed on the floor legs in the air, the embarrassement comes from the fact that she had your cock in her before she fell. personally i wouldn't have made the odd "drunken gaffe" I would have laughed untill I shit myself. Would have taken the piss about it at every given moment. If she is so fucking uptight then tell her to fuck off. Nothing will fuck her off more than knowing that you and your mates will be down the pub having a right giggle about it. That is more likely to get her to do the wheel barrow than a bunch of flowers.

Another thing is, if you take Deidre's advice how will that conversation go? Like this.

You" Hi darling i just want you to know i am terribly sorry about making fun of you (sniggering)... falling off my knob. It will end now ...(more snigger)... no more.. I bought you these flowers! If I could find somewhere to put them ( almost uncontrolable laughing by now).. somewhere they would look good ... have we got a vase or would you get into the position you were in the other night? ( tears runing down your cheeks)....(some time later after drying your eyes) anyway heres the daffs now would you ride me in the reverse cowgirl?"

see that wont work! nope have to be firm tell her that she is going to have to offer a bit of variety or piss off.

Another thing by the way! Whats all this "rather than hurt her feelings I shagged her" bullshit? everysingle man in the world knows that you get the best shag of your life when the missus is a bit pissed. Who the fuck do you think you are Errol Flynn? Warren Beatty? Nicholson? Catch a fucking grip son!