Dear Sherry
I am a 44 year old, attractive divorcee and work in publishing. My boyfriend of one year is handsome, kind, caring, steady, good to his family, good to me, has no ex-wives and no children. But, he is less educated than myself, works in a non-professional job and his grammar is an ongoing problem. I’ve been giving him grammar lessons, which have begun to grate on him. Generally, I'm more sophisticated than he is, and it bothers me, but I do love him. He wants to get married and I can’t make up my mind. Meanwhile I don't have much faith in what else is out there. Help!
M
Dear M
It's hard to break away from parental conditioning that tells us to look for men who will be good providers. It can be equally hard to break away from social conditioning that tells us the man on our arm should be a ‘trophy’ - that is, he looks good, and is presentable at dinner parties and family and business functions.
You say you ‘love’ this man, and I'm sure he's great, but the differences between you aren't going to just disappear. Imagine your life without him. Would you truly miss his company? Would you miss his insights, his humour, his empathy? Now imagine your life with him. Pretend you're married and the two of you bump into an old university friend. Do you proudly introduce your husband or inwardly shiver with embarrassment?
The moral is: Don't stay with him because you don’t think there’s anything better out there or because you hope he'll change. He's already getting tired of your grammar lessons, or is it nagging? You've got to be able to either love and accept this man for who he is, or allow both of you to move on.
MARTY'S ANWSER
Well fuck me I have heard it all now. There are any number of reasons to part ways with your partner. They could be violent, cheating , lazy, emotionally unattached but I have never heard of anyone spliting up because of bad vocabulary. What is it that really gets to her I wonder? The incorrect use of adjectives? The use of double negatives?
"I am generally more sophisticated than him", well fuck me aint you the girl. Must be great being so well educated and so intelligent that you can give grammar lessons to your boyfriend. If my Marie decided to "educate" me like that I'm afraid I would have to educate her on the noble art of going and fucking herself!What sort of relationship is that going to be when the bloke has to do comprehension exams, I could understand it if the bloke asked, or was in a job that required him to talk to people who would appreciate that sort of thing. Sales rep, Teacher or something like that but he has a "non-professional" job which I would take from your tone means he is a plumber or something along those lines. So what the fuck does he need proper grammar for?
I know, so you dont feel embarrassed around the dinner party with your ex- uni friends. I wish he was a drinker then when he got bladdered and pissed in the hosts plant pot while wearing one of her thongs on his head you would have something to worry about.
As for Sherry's anwser why cant she just tell this moron that " you are the one with the problem you stuck up toffee nosed cunt!" instead of saying
"It's hard to break away from parental conditioning that tells us to look for men who will be good providers" What the fuck has that to do with anything. For all Sherry knows the guy could be making a fortune. From my perception the snobby bitch wouldn't go out with him if he was skint, that wouldn't impress the neighbours very much. A woman who tries to teach her boyfriend grammar aint going to go on the bus with her boyfriend to go for a curry and a skinful I wouldnt have thought.
